sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
