Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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