EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
