U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize