Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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