Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
