Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
