Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
