Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
