ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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