Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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