check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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