Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
handjob tips. give me some.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I enjoy the company of your penis
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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