SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
