EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
