Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
