dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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