My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's blow job season.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize