Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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