If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
it glows. i had to have it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
