That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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