Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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