I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
