i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize