Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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