omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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