I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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