i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i came on her dog
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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