Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
