But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just googled if crying burns calories
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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