i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
