margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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