12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
