if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
