idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
