That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
