Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
