Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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