Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
