I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
