people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
