I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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