she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
