Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I have tasted many bathrooms
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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