He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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