omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
