I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't think brook has ever known best
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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