And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
