like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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