smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
