OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
