I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
