its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
