If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you would pick up someone in the library
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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