Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
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It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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