the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
