The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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