Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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