hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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