somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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