Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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