my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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