oh god the rape fog is back!
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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